She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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