White coat. Heels.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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