my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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