If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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