Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
