doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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