Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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