I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
