So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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