let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
