even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
