Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
