man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
