M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
