My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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