On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
