Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
