please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
