then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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