they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
