ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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