so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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