haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize