I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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