Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
