In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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