ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
