so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
