I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize