So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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