I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
