My hand turned me down
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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