You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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