oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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