a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
