ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's the barista slut.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize