We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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