i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
