The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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