sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
