Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
