i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
