a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
