Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
