But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
