Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
