I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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