It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So much Jack, so little girl.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
