i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
lets start a swedish sibling band together
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
