dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
