In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
