Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
