So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
