I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
