oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize