Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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