If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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