It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
