is your mom at the bar?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
