I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
