nut hugger
wrigley field is MILF paradise
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
