the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
