Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
