He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
