i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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