I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
